A Simple Life

Hello,

Below is a speech that I’ve prepared/presented, inspired by Gareth Stein’s Racing in the Rain. I was voted best speaker during my club's meeting by sheer luck(the better speaker was disqualified as she exceeded the time given).

Here goes:

Often, I wondered. I wondered how life would be if I am slightly different. 

In my world, I can only see things in black, grey, blue and white. I see green as grey, red as black.I would love to chew and enjoy the sight of a red apple.  My tongue is long, flat and loose.  It is an ineffective tool for pushing food around in my mouth whilst chewing. I have no words that I can rely on, and gestures are all I have. I attempt to speak but humans classify it as barking.  But at least they take care of me. My name is Rufus. 

I can’t remember much of my family. I didn’t even know who my parents were. After I was born, I was placed in a bucket with my brother. It was a terrible experience. I heard rain drops and thunder, and we were out in the blistering cold traumatised and hungry. After an hour of whining and being soaked in rain, we were picked up by a lady. 

The lady gave us milk and took photos of us. Soon, she informed us that she has posted our pictures on the internet, and hopefully someone would adopt us. She named me Rufus.

A few days later, she passed me to Hansel, and that was the last time I saw my brother and the lady. Hansel brought me home and introduced me to his family. Hansel, like me, has a brother. He is staying with his parents and has a pretty girlfriend. 

On weekdays, I am left alone at home. I would spend hours doing nothing, wandering from room to room, napping from spot to spot. I could only stare out of the window and watch random birds fly by. I yearn for the house to be bustling with people. 

Sometimes, Hansel would leave the television on for me to watch. I would climb onto the sofa and make myself comfortable. There are 101 television show s to watch! My favourite is the Disney cartoon channel. I love the cartoons like Ben 10 and Phineas and Ferb.  I was told that variety is good, so I do watch discovery channel and Spanish football.  It allows me to broaden my knowledge.

I do get nagged at when someone realised that my fur were all over the sofa. My favourite time of the day is to accompany the parents to watch Taiwanese talk shows. Taiwanese girls speak in a cute, high pitched tone, and they are nice to look watch too. 

Because of the experience I had earlier, I am terribly afraid when it rains. I would shiver uncontrollably and often, the people at home would call me a scary cat. I do not understand why they call me a cat when obviously I am a dog. I tried to correct them many times but all I can give was a disapproving look. How I wish I could shout “I am a dog, and I have a voice”.  

I am also very intrigued by the human behaviour. There is this thing called the personal computer, where they will spend hours typing or watching. They are able to communicate with one another using this website called facebook. It’s very puzzling because I see a lot of pictures, and they communicate with each other using words. Since they are able to speak, wouldn’t it be better to talk to each other? 

I tried using facebook, but my paws are too fat for the keyboard and I can’t remember any alphabets after C. 

Another item I find baffling is the motorised vehicles. They seemed to love it so much when there in it, but hurried away once the vehicles come to a stop. The interior of the vehicle must be kept clean, and often it smelt too clean for my liking. I dislike taking the vehicle as it always makes me my head spin. Once, I puked in the van and received a stern scolding from my owners. This is the reason why I always like to take a piss at tyres when I go for walks. 

Also, I am made to wear a dog tag. It does not add much weight to me, but I disliked wearing it. I know it contains my name and address, but I don’t see humans wearing any tags and from of identification stating their details. This is so bizarre to me. Why must humans discriminate against dogs?

I understand that Hansel is in toastmasters, and it would be so cool if he wrote a speech about my life.  How I wished I could develop the ability to speak. I would just need to speak to him for 5 minutes, so he need not rack his brains for ideas on what to present for his next project.